Bear Essentials

Well we’re still alive, just very, very lazy.

Our week off in Feb was great; we took in skiing, sledging and a day trip to Banff (again). On our way in (you have to pay to go into Banff!!) we were given a local guide. In it was this article on what to do if you encounter a bear (you will need to click on it). Starts off very reassuring saying that bear attacks are very rare and nearly all encounters end without injury. Phew. It goes on to say how you should ‘play dead’ (yeah, right), and how ‘showing submission will probably end the attack!’ Substitute the word ‘probably’ for ‘definitely’ and I might buy in. It was the last paragraph of that section that got me! It says that if the attack lasts for more than 2 minutes you need to fight back! Make your blinkin’ mind up! If I see a bear I’m giving it toes. I won’t be faffing with a stopwatch and playing statues. I’ll be out of there, sharpish.

Well our next guests are booked in. Karen, Gary and kids in May, and Cathy in July. We are all looking forward to seeing them. They’ll be pleased to know that rodeo season will be in full flow by then. Maybe they’ll be able explain the point of it to us.

Whilst we’ve been out here we have carried on doing the UK lottery. So far we’ve had 7 wins! That’s about the same as we’ve had in the previous 12 years. Pity it’s only ever £10.00. We don’t check the numbers, we just get an e-mail saying there’s good news about our ticket. Deep down I know it’s going to be a tenner, but in that minute it takes to log on to find out I’m a millionaire in my head; I’ve bought a house and everything. The residents of Lower Heswall are no doubt pleased.

I'm continuously astounded by what Canadians deem 'offensive.' On TV at 6.00 pm every evening we have Family Guy, Little Britain and numerous programmes with Gordon Ramsey effin and jeffin. Then there's Trailer Park Boys, which is about a load of traveller types who have a colourful lifestyle involving illegal substances, theft and choice language. It's so popular out here that they made it into a film! That's on at 8.00pm. Family viewing? I think not.

It's a visit to the local liquor store that really made an impression though! This wine was on offer; chalkboards, posters the works!! I just had to post it.
I personally find that more offensive than a topless lady, yet you don't see them, ever. Newspapers, magazines and all TV programmes are completely 'breast free.' If they've imported a film, or something that contains nudity, they'll pixellate the 'offensive' bits! Get real. This is coming from a nation that hurls calves to the floor in the name of entertainment!
All the UK lads mags are available here, but all the ladies are suitably covered. Thank goodness. We wouldn't want to corrupt the locals now would we?
Thankfully Canadians don't holiday in European coastal resorts. Imagine the uproar if they did? They'd be lobbying their MP's as soon as they got back to Canada after seeing all those brazen women. If they stick to venturing into the forests and blasting deer with guns we'll all be ok.

You'll all be pleased to know that the weather has been brilliant for the last month with plus temperatures most days. I know Chris has been worried about us. Worry over Robbo, we're like toast.

Anyway that's enough of me waffling for one night. Take care.

Bert xx

The link below is for the benefit of my non believing ex Biology teacher Mr Gaddas. Would I lie to you? http://www.dailyindia.com/show/224545.php/Brutal-cold-helps-pine-beetle-fight