Big Boyz Toyz

Who was it that coined the phrase 'Size Doesn't Matter'? Certainly not a Canadian! Over here big is better, and even bigger is even better.

Now that the sun's out so are the RV's (whacking, great caravans), BBQ's and Harley Davidson's . . . all monsters.
Some of the BBQs are the size of a Smart Car and the RV's are like removal vans. My little British gas BBQ won't be coming out of the garage; I'd be the talk of the town (and to think Chris Roberts was desperate for it when we loaded the container .... sorry Chris).

BBQ (or Grilling as they call it here) is definately a man thing; there are even tv programmes called 'Boy Meets Grill' and 'Licence To Grill.' I've thought of writing to them to suggest one for city folk who love to BBQ - 'Urban Grillers' . . . bound to be a huge hit . . . or maybe 'Cheap Grills' if they wanted to pop round to use ours ?

The downside to the sun coming out is the Mosquitos!! ( and we're talking mega mozzies here, naturally . . . in keeping with the 'bigger is better' ethos) They seem to like English meat .... my hand is like a boxing glove. We've stocked up on repellent so fingers crossed my Elephant Man impression is a one off.

I've been here over 3 months now and miss some things about the UK so much. Things you take for granted.

Newspapers - They're 90% adverts and 10% garbage out here.
English Humour - Canadians do have humour ..... just very different.
English TV - I was critical of UK TV when I lived there .... I take it all back.
Sainsbury's Onion Bagels - I'm like Pavlov's dog writing this.
Gravy Granules - Sorted now my Mum's here.
Beer in 500ml cans - Here they're 355ml and twice the price.
Public Transport - There's none here in High River. Nothing.
Thursday Nights - Oh for beer and laughs.
Friday Nights - (Nicki added that one - hiya Ange!)
The Sea - We're a 15 hour drive from the coast.
Thingwall Chippy - Chicken Curry & Fried Rice (Pavlov again).
Mail Delivered - We have to trek to a box at the end of the road.

Had a bizzare haircut in Calgary today from a mad Turk. He never moved an inch ..... spun the chair around instead !!! It was like being on the Waltzers. Then when he finished he got rid of the hair from my shoulders with a hairdryer. Would've been OK if I'd have been expecting it, but I was facing the other way and nearly had heart failure!

Anyway, that's me done. Love to all.

Bert (aka John Merrick)

Bucking Madness

Well, we've had our first taste of rodeo . . . good grief !!! 'Little Britches' was on last weekend. We had the parade first - Hannah on the school float in Western gear. Typical British Bank Holiday stuff . . . two weeks of fab weather ended, rain and cold set in. By 1.30 in the afternoon . . . rodeo time . . . we had arctic gales, sleet and sub zero temp. We set off regardless, trekking through a mud-bath and into the 3 thousand seater stadium with the half-dozen other fools - British descent, no doubt - displaying the Dunkirk spirit. It got off to an interesting start . . . 3 year olds chasing a flock of sheep round a muddy pen, losing wellies left, right and centre, trying to grab a label off a woolly back. Then we had calf roping . . . under 16's lassooing the poor little babies, jumping off horses and flinging them down in the mud - all in under 4 seconds ! The calves stood more of a sporting chance with the under 12's . . . lots of rope twirling and galloping around, no actual ropes around necks, smug little calves trotting off after the 30 second limit - much nicer. The real jaw-dropper was the 6 to 9 year old 'Junior Calf Riding' . . . not 2 week old tiddler calves either, big beasts with attitude (and a rope around the nether regions just to make sure they were really mad) . . . out of the 'shoot', small child clinging on for dear life - for 2 seconds - before being hurled into the mud, narrowly avoiding a broken neck and a hoof shaped dent in the head !!!

At 6 ! Incredible what passes for entertainment in these parts. Anyway, had to leave before 'Mutton Busting' (3 to 8's clinging on to sheep for a gallop round a muddy field) as we were on the verge of hyperthermia. So my enthusiasm for the Calgary Stampede is waning . . . if that was the kiddy version . . . !!!

You'll be pleased to hear the sun re-appeared the moment the Bank Holiday ended . . . not just a British phenomena, after all. Audrey arrived safely and has already had a close encounter with the local wildlife . . . an eagle on a fence post right by us, tucking into a gopher. Lovely.

Well, off to hit the mall. Are we missing much on the home-front ?

Love and hugs and kisses to all, Nicki and tribe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Short clip of the Junior Calf Riding winner at link below (it's a bit naff due to wind and zoom, but you'll get the picture): http://media.putfile.com/Bucking-Madness

Canadian Telecommunications - Load Of Old Tosh

Pic taken in Banff; click on it to enlarge.

We're having problems at the minute with e-mail as our ISP out here is dire (either that or we are a real 'Billy No Mates' family). In future could you all cc e-mails to planetbedlam@hotmail.com as well?

We've also set up an on-line photo album.

Save link below to your favourites as we'll update it regularly:

http://www.photobox.co.uk/slideshow?album_id=26323140

Please pass on links to blog/photo album to people who know us ....... maybe they'll actually post comments after they've read it!

Howdee Pardners!

We're still alive and well and rockin' an' rollin' down in cowboy country . . . despite a trip to Sheep River, where the road barriers are down because the bears are waking up (we found out on our return) and letting the dog off his lead was a definite no no, he could have led a bear back to us!! Must invest in some pepper spray.

I've been feeling very at one with the world on my way to Walmart . . . the Rockies are stunning, eagles everywhere, a couple of Coyotes ran across the road in front of me, and the gophers are out in force . . . shopping at Asda was never this eventful. Then Lucy and I called into the Ice-cream parlour (50's style seats, juke box) just in time for the owner Marv (small and round, handlebar moustache) to whip off his pinny, grab his guitar, and launch into a medley of 50's favourites! Obviously an everyday occurance for some customers . . . Lucy and I were in the stunned minority. Where is your camcorder when you need it ???

Marv's Website: http://www.marvsclassics.ca/

Katie has started horse riding lessons . . . western style, obviously, but I don't think she has to lasso any calves just yet. Jack has started Art classes . . . such creativity, can't think where he gets it from ??? and Hannah's soccer team won their first 2 matches . . . she scored on Saturday. Way to go, Hannah !!! (a bit of local style warmth and encouragement, there.).

The house is looking more like home, but the garden is more building site than crown green bowls. I can't help feeling faintly ridiculous asking for a quote on 'grass sod for my yard.'

Anyone looking for a gap in the market might want to ship out a container full of gravy granules (I know, I should make my own . . . but at least I mash my own potatoes!). They haven't quite grasped the concept of Sunday papers either . . . oh for a soak in my Jacuzzi 'soaker tub' with the Sunday supplement !!!

You'll be glad to know the sun is shining, a million frogs have moved into the lake (hours of fun for Jack and Hannah) and the Canadian geese are flocking back. How's the glorious UK ? It's all gone quiet over there with the weather updates . . . . not raining by any chance ????

Looking forward to hearing from you all.

Love and hugs, Nicki xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS. Have tried leaping over the carpet by the back door, but still positively charged and zapped on a regular basis. Thanks for trying Tanner!